Resilience
The Stoic philosopher Seneca got front-row seats to one of the worst parenting jobs in history. In 49 AD, he was recalled from exile to tutor a twelve-year-old named Nero. The ancient historian Cassius Dio tells us that the boy's mother, the empress Agrippina, had the entire empire under her thumb and used her power to make sure her boy never had to struggle for anything. She is what we today call a snowplow parent. And in clearing the path of every conceivable impediment and obstacle, Agrippina created a monster, one of the worst human beings in history.
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The job of "the good parent," he says, is to "out of love for the child, [act] as a trainer, endlessly manufacturing trials for the child." The job of the good parent is to make their child's life good, not easy.
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The gods, Seneca writes, "want us to be as good, as virtuous as possible, so assign to us a fortune that will make us struggle." Without struggle, he says, "no one will know what you were capable of, not even yourself."
(Page 303)