Thinking modes to avoid

Self-pity

Generally speaking, envy, resentment, revenge, and self-pity add disastrous modes of thought. Self-pity can get pretty close to paranoia. Paranoia is one of the very hardest things to reverse. You do not want to drift into self-pity.

I had a friend who carried a thick stack of linen-based cards. When someone would make a comment that reflected self-pity, he would slowly and portentously pull out his huge stack of cards, take the top one, and hand it to the person. The card said, “Your story has touched my heart. Never have I heard of anyone with as many misfortunes as you.”

Well, you can say that’s waggery, but I suggest that every time you find you’re drifting into self-pity—I don’t care what the cause, your child could be dying of cancer, self-pity is not going to improve the situation—just give yourself one of those cards. It’s a ridiculous way to behave and when you avoid it you get a great advantage over everybody else, almost everybody else, because self-pity is a standard condition and yet you can train yourself out of it.

— Charlie Munger, 2007 USC Law School Commencement Speech

He went through a divorce where he lost everything, and he lost his 9-year-old son to leukemia. Yet he believed one shouldn’t let a single blow become worse through a lack of will or wallowing. He cited Epictetus that every unfair setback is an opportunity to behave well and learn something new.